Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize