I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
