3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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