im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
