And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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