woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Holy shit dude........stairs
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
