:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
third nipple confirmed
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
