Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
