so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
