i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you will always have a special place in my vag
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Randomize