whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Dick very happy bro
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
