Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
