Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
it glows. i had to have it.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
