He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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