mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
