The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
