i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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