Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
