why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
