the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
