I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
