i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I need to calm my uterus...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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