You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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