before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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