He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
