So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize