I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize