Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
