theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
