she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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