brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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