Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
