when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
