All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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