I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I looked at my own cervix.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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