It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
