idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
