Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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