Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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