After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
