He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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