i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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