If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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