and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
