her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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