Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
