chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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