I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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