Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
