Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
