She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
