So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I think people are normalizing furries
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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