Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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