I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
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