If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
