im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he shaved USA in his pubs
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
