you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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