Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
