how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I see more hoeing in ur future
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