Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
