all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
