Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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