I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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