i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
