I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
