Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
