Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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